Torn Asunder: Recovering From Extramarital Affairs, by Dave Carder M.A., Duncan Jaenicke


Free Ebook Torn Asunder: Recovering From Extramarital Affairs, by Dave Carder M.A., Duncan Jaenicke

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Torn Asunder: Recovering From Extramarital Affairs, by Dave Carder  M.A., Duncan Jaenicke

Torn Asunder: Recovering From Extramarital Affairs, by Dave Carder M.A., Duncan Jaenicke

Torn Asunder: Recovering From Extramarital Affairs, by Dave Carder  M.A., Duncan Jaenicke

Free Ebook Torn Asunder: Recovering From Extramarital Affairs, by Dave Carder M.A., Duncan Jaenicke

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Torn Asunder: Recovering From Extramarital Affairs, by Dave Carder  M.A., Duncan Jaenicke

Infidelity is at crisis level even within the church. No marriage is immune despite apparent moral convictions. Dave Carder wrote Torn Asunder to offer couples hope, healing, and encouragement in the face of adultery. He divides his book into first helping readers understand extramarital affairs and then offering healing for marriages dealing with this betrayal. Excellent resource for pastors, leaders, and lay people.

  • Sales Rank: #419452 in Books
  • Published on: 1995-06-09
  • Original language: English
  • Number of items: 1
  • Dimensions: 9.00″ h x .69″ w x 6.00″ l, 1.00 pounds
  • Binding: Paperback
  • 274 pages

About the Author
Dave Carder serves as assistant pastor responsible for counseling ministries at the First Evangelical Free Church of Fullerton, California. He also serves on the boards of CAPS-WEST (Christian Association of Psychological Studies), The Center for Individuals and Family Therapy, and Marble Retreat Center. He is the author of Secrets of Your Family Tree, Helping Couples Recover from Adultery, and Promises from Proverbs.

Most helpful customer reviews

64 of 68 people found the following review helpful.
Practical, Clear, Useful Book , Solidly Evangelical
By Edward J. Vasicek
Torn Asunder: Recovering from Extramarital Affairs
Written by Dave Carder (Moody Press, rev. 1995)
Reviewed by Pastor Ed Vasicek
I first heard Dave Carder at the Moody Bible Institute’s pastor’s conference in 2000. After attending his workshop about counseling situations involving marital infidelity, I returned home and immediately ordered his book. I was not disappointed.
Torn Asunder was written for those somehow connected to marital affairs, including prodigal spouses, their mates, pastors, counselors, or concerned friends. It is easy to understand, thoroughly evangelical in conviction, and based on the author’s practical counseling experience and keen observation. It offers clear direction and principals upon which to build.
The book is divided into three main sections. The first division, “Understanding Extramarital Affairs” contains five chapters which distinguish types of affairs, causes, and factors that contribute toward improper relationships. The second subdivision boasts six chapters and is titled, “Healing from Affairs.” The last three chapters tie up a few miscellaneous loose ends and are sectioned off as , “Special Circumstances.”
The author writes clearly, simply, and informatively. He provides only a few necessary statistics (e.g., 50 to 65% of husbands and 45-55% of wives have had extra-marital affairs by the age of 40) as well as some surprising insights: “Young wives today are actually having affairs at a faster rate than same-aged men…”
Some of Carder’s material is questionable. For example, the author describes the types of personalities that are more affair-prone than others without backing up his claims through documented studies. Most of what he says in this volume, however, does ring true to reality.
Carder offers a lot of meaty information. A few helpful statements include: “In sporadic, longer-lasting affairs, the spouse will need about two years to recover…” and, “The only lasting remedy is for the infidel to feel the agony he has caused the spouse.” He does not minimize the pain and anger involved in these traumatic situations.
Carder views infidelity as not just indicative of a troubled individual, but rather indicative of a troubled marriage relationship involving both partners. He writes, “The goal for both to figure out is: what emotional and physical nurturance did the infidel receive from the affair that was unavailable in the marriage?”
I recommend this book to those struggling with recovery from infidelity, pastors, counselors, people-helpers, or anyone interested in a Christian perspective as to the causes, prevention, and recovery of marital affairs. It is thorough, sensitive, clear, balanced, and faithful to the Scriptures.

0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
Five Stars
By Lalitha602
true book

45 of 50 people found the following review helpful.
Good book, But…..
By Hurting in Texas
This is one of the better books I’ve read lately. It has helped me deal with the anger I felt over what happened.

But I did have issue with a couple of points in the book.

The book is written with the husband as the infidel. I know its difficult to write such a book and remain gender neutral, but this point mad the book harder for me to read and conncet with. Men and women are different in what they need and desire. The way the book is written it appears to not explore why women have affairs. Granted an affair is an affair but the underlying causes are different for men than they are for women.

This book says that the faithful spouse must take partial responsibility for the affair if healing is to take place. This is out and out bull. The faithful spouse may have contributed to the conditions in the marriage that lead up to the affair and needs to take responsibilty for that, but the infidel CHOSE to have the affair. No matter how bad the marriage is its no excuse for an affair. An affair is strictly a choice by the infidel and no one else is responsible for those actions.

This book says that the best way to assure that there is never another affair is to show your wayward spouse the pain they have caused you. Supposedly remembering the pain they caused the faithful spouse will keep them from straying again. I would want my wandering spouse to not have another affair because they love me not because they would inflict pain on me.

Other than it was a great book and anyone recovering from infidelity in their marriage needs to read this one.

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